Don’t deny it…you know you secretly judge all of your colleagues by what they eat in a working day.
Here’s the dummies guide to office eating, sweeping generalisations included…
Serial dieting Sandra
There’s a Sandra in every office…Sandra has done all of the diets. Weight Watchers, Slimming World, Herbalife, The Cambridge Diet, Tea Detoxes that make you crap yourself. Another week, another fad. They never stick to the diet, they never lose any weight. They constantly complain about how difficult their diet is. Yes, Sandra, it is! Maybe it would be easier if you stepped away from the biscuit jar? That’s right, we see you stuffing those hobnobs in your face when you think nobody is looking!
There’s a little bit of Tom in everyone. Tom is the guy who rocks up at 9.01am, unshaven and stinking of the 12 pints of Carling he had the night before, every day of the week. Tom eats bacon sandwiches for breakfast, McDonalds at lunch (other fast food joints are available) and mainly drinks Red Bull, Coca-Cola or more Carling. Tom has never drunk a glass of water…or eaten a vegetable.
We all hate Lorna. Lorna is organised. She spends her evening making her meals for the next day. One Tupperware box of overnight oats? Check! One Tupperware filled with a colourful and exciting looking salad? Check! One Tupperware of carrot sticks and cucumber? Check! Lorna is everything we wish we could be…until that Tupperware disappears from the kitchen and Lorna loses her shit!
Clean eating Kevin
Where are you Kevin? You know who you are. You make the office stink. You microwave 12 egg whites at breakfast, you steam cod and green beans at lunchtime and you down protein shakes like Jaegerbombs. It’s all macros, keto and no carbs. But beware of Kevin when the cakes come out for Lorna’s birthday and he cracks…do not stand between him at the Krispy Kreme. I’ve seen Kevin eat a solid dozen to himself.
Oh Veronica, she who judges everyone else. Veronica loves an avocado, lives on soy green tea matcha chai turmeric lattes and pretty much lives on dust…
Veronica is not Vegan due to her political, religious or animal welfare beliefs. Oh no. Veronica is Vegan because Tiffany Watson from ‘Made in Chelse’a said she should be. (No offence Tiff!)
Don’t be Veronica.
So there we have it, your office eating habits summarised in one easy blog.
Who are you? I’m definitely a Lunchbox Lorna.
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