It’s the most wonderful time of the year. That’s right…it’s only bloody Christmas! And do you know why it’s my favourite time of year…because people say stupid things at Christmas.
So what better gift from me to you, than a list of the stupid things people say at Christmas time.
“I’m sure it gets earlier every year”
No…no it doesn’t. Christmas day is definitely December 25th, every year. Celebrating Christmas may get earlier every year. The house down the road from me put their lights up on 1st November – they must have nothing better to spend their money on than lights bright enough to cause seizures to anyone within a 5-mile radius! But I googled it…Christmas, definitely 25th December. Every. Year.
“New Year, New Me”
Sharon, you ain’t fooling anyone hun…you tried 7 different diets last year and still ended up half a stone heavier. You went to the gym twice and then faceplanted the biscuit tin on January 5th. It all went downhill from there. You decided to stop smoking…but you mysteriously re-enter the office three times a day smelling like a pack of B&H. Stop pretending that on January 1st you are going to wake up a different woman.
“It may be Christmas, but things certainly haven’t slowed down”
This one is for the recruiters out there. The recruiters who think that by posting about how busy they are over Christmas, clients will suddenly fall at their feet. You know the ones…pinstripe suit, bell nailed to the wall of the office, sat at their desks until 5.30pm on New Year’s Eve to score extra points with the directors. Newsflash – nobody gives a shit.
“Let’s not do gifts this year”
Warning – THIS IS A TRAP. If your partner says you shouldn’t exchange gifts, you should definitely get them a gift. I can guarantee they have got you one and, if you don’t reciprocate, you will instantly be the Grinch that stole Christmas. Your partner will also proceed to tell your parents, her parents, the entire family and all of your friends and anyone who will listen, that you didn’t get them a present.
“What did Santa bring you?”
Nothing. Because I’m 29. Santa isn’t real.
“Is it too early to have a drink?”
“Yes, it is”, said no one. Ever. As a child, the traditional Christmas breakfast consisted of chocolate fingers and Baileys, followed by a bath with bucks fizz (bucks fizz in a glass, not in the bath!).
Rule of thumb – if you aren’t half cut by the time Christmas lunch is served, you are doing it all wrong.
So, there we have it…. the list of my favourite stupid things that people only say at Christmas!
Feel free to share yours with me. I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and feel free to use my list of stupid Christmas quotes as some kind of Christmas bingo, or a drinking game, whatever’s clever!
For all things interim management, change & transformation, get in touch with me on firstname.lastname@example.org.