Job titles: the complex to the downright hilarious

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Job titles have long been the basis of determining a person’s status and role within a business. I have noticed a considerable change in this over the last few years and have found job titles to be quite ambiguous, especially in the HR arena.

Understanding broad job titles

Job titles mean different things to different businesses, which can become quite confusing for everyone involved. HR Business Partner and HR Director are the two broadest areas as there are so many different levels in each role. I find that base salary and reporting lines are the best way to understand exactly where the role operates within a business.

‘Outside the box’ job titles

We live in a world where people no longer want traditional job titles and are trying to be innovative regarding titles. I feel that job titles should reflect the culture of a business and its people. A couple of businesses we have recently worked with have totally nailed this approach and continue to lead by example. During a recent conversation with a senior HR Director, they talked about people within your business being your differentiator and if you want them to ‘think outside the box’ then why give them an ‘inside the box’ job title. An interesting approach and one I’m sure will resonate with some of you.

Plain funny job titles

However, some companies have taken this to the extreme and I have uncovered some hilarious titles! Some of these titles give no clue as to what the job entails, although there seems to be quite a few around making people happy…whatever that means 😊.

Here is a list of some of the strange ones I came across:

  • Director of Making People Happy and Content 
  • Creator of Happiness
  • Commissioner for Happiness and Purpose Fulfilment
  • Chief Happiness Hacker
  • Happiness Wrangler
  • Snake Milker
  • Bacon Critic
  • Wizard of Light Bulb Moments 
  • Recruitment Wizard
  • Sourcing Ninja

It appears there are no limits to the levels of creativity we can now reach with job titles. What’s the funniest title you have seen recently?

If you want to have a chat, you can contact me at carl@refind.co.uk.

You can view more about Carl Hinett our Executive search of HR professional’s specialist here.

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Phrases heard in recruitment offices that make my skin crawl

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In recruitment, we like to think we are ever-evolving animals and that we have moved on from the pinstriped three-piece suits and working 13 hours a day. In the main part, I think this is true, but there are still some of you out there. You know who you are…. you are probably the one reading this and getting ready to blast some hate my way because I’ve touched a nerve. Either that, or you really are so hanging from last nights weekly team drinks that you just don’t have the energy, but at least you beat the office record for jaeger bombs downed, followed by press-ups completed. #ladsladslads

Anyway, here’s a trip down memory lane, the worst things I have heard in recruitment offices.

‘Ring the deal bell’

Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realise we were on the London Stock Exchange in the nineties! Are you really that self-congratulating that you need to ring a bell to let the rest of the office know you have actually done your job?

Referring to candidate placements as ‘deals’ also makes me want to scratch my eyeballs out.

’Right guys, we are having 10 before 10/Power Hour’

What this actually says is that your manager is concerned that you lazy shits aren’t doing enough BD, so they are going to force you to make a load of calls in an hour in order to hit your pointless call KPI target. If you can speak to 10 decision-makers in an hour, then I’m betting you the quality of those calls probably sounds something like this:

Recruiter: ‘Hi, you got any jobs?’

Client: ‘No’

Recruiter: ‘Ok, thanks’ *whilst secretly punching the air because the call counts as a decision-maker spoken to*.

‘We are different from your average recruitment agency’

Oh really? That’s strange because I’m pretty sure the last 10 recruiters that called me were all different…so if that’s the case, where do I find all the average recruiters because I think I wanna give one of them a try?

Recruiters that truly are different, aren’t constantly telling you how different they are, they are busy just being different. Let your actions speak for themselves.

‘I’ve got a hot candidate’

Why? Have you locked them in an un-air-conditioned room until they sign your exclusivity agreement? Your candidate isn’t an object for you to brag about! Talk about them like they are an actual human being and not a walking fee.

So, there you go, rant over. This is purely a bit of fun and not meant to offend anyone. But this doesn’t just apply to recruitment. What are the worst/most annoying phrases you hear in your office?

For all things HR Shared Services, change and transformation and if you would like to feature in our ‘Insiders Story’ blog, email me on kate@refind.co.uk.

You can view more about Kate Wass our HR Shared Services specialist here.

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